Re: The Divine Queer Mansion

[ArtieStroke]

"The store was nice," Rachel said, admiring the flower-crowns on the plush animals, "Lot's of flowers everywhere. I do love these flower crowns, they must have been really hard to make-"

She turned around to see Jacquine in nothing but her underwear.

Shit.

Rachel's face turned a very dark, interesting shade of red and she squeaked once before covering her mouth and turning away.

"I- oh my gosh I'm so sorry oh god!" smooth fuckin move, Rachel.

[Joule]

Though Joule was not too pleased with the idea that Kade would have to put pants on, he nodded and stood up to go with the other two.

"I would love to accompany you two handsome men~"

[Waistcoat]

Jacquine tilted her head in confusion.

'What is the matter, Madam Acrylic, are you unwell?' she asked moving closer to Madam Acrylic.

[ArtieStroke]

Rachel coughed awkwardly into her hand, barely stammering out a response, "U-umm, Jacquine- I am, uh, how you say, 'une lesbienne'- so... uh... yeah... kinda awkward here."

She continued to stand, turned away and blushing furiously, one of her hands nervously tapping her side. Slug it, Rachel, why you gotta have such a dirty mind?

[Urban]

Nathan hadn't anticipated waking up in the vents when he'd gone to sleep last night. At least, he was pretty sure he was in the vents. Maybe a cupboard? Either way it was dark, small and not very well heated inside, so he didn't really want to remain there for any longer than was absolutely necessary. He paused for a minute to consider the best way to escape the predicament he'd found himself in, running a hand over the wall on his right. Yeah, that was metal. Probably the vents then.

He sighed, half-heartedly reprimanding himself for his weird sleeping habits. Why do you do this, self. Why do you put me in these situations. Deciding there really was no intelligent way to proceed Nathan began to crawl along the narrow passageway, grumbling to himself as he went. I can't believe this is what I've been reduced to. Slugger.

He managed to get about 5 metres before things went wrong, which was par for the course really. He'd already woken up in a vent of all places. It's just adding to the humiliation, he thought to himself, as the metal below him gave way, sending him sprawling to the floor.

At least he didn't have to worry about getting out of the vents now, he supposed. Let's just hope no-one saw that, he said to himself, as he lay uselessly across the floor. He didn't exactly have much dignity left to lose, at this point - lying on the floor was no worse than falling from a vent, really.

[Waistcoat]

'une lesbienne?' Jacquine said, repeating Acrylic 'I have not heard of such a thing, is it a new type of fever? Jacquine asked with worry as she placed a hand on Acrylics forehead to check for an increase in temperature.

[Zenith]

Grinning back at Joule, Kade led the way out of the kitchen. He got maybe half a yard out before Nathan- other Nathan, not new Nathan- plopped out of the ceiling and lay sprawled out on the floor in front of him.

After a stunned moment, Kade laughed and leaned over him. "Morning cutie pie~"

[Urban]

Slugger. Slugger slugger slugger.

"...Kade," Nathan replied from his position on the floor, trying to casually manoeuvre himself so that it didn't look like he'd been entirely serious about just going back to sleep in the middle of the hall. Fuck. He totally saw that. He totally saw all of that. Goddamnit. "So, uh. How're you doing?" he continued, coughing nervously and trying to look anywhere but Kade's face. Shit. There were more of them. Why couldn't Kade have been by himself? At least that would've been slightly less humiliating.

He was pretty sure his hair was doing the thing too, as though the situation wasn't bad enough already. The thing being going static-y as hell and poofing up like some sort of angry cat. Damn these powers. Damn this whole situation. I can't believe I just fell out of a vent. I can't believe I'm lying in the middle of a hallway. I can't believe Kade's that tall. ...Why's Kade that tall? Who allowed that? When did that happen? Nathan continued to ramble internally, glaring at Kade as though his height was a personal offence.

"Also you're too tall." Maybe it was the whole plummeting to the ground thing, or the fact that Nathan was still sitting at Kade's feet and having to stare up at him that made it seem a reasonable observation to make. It probably wasn't. Nathan sighed. Goddamn he was tired. All he wanted was a nice coffee. Not this.

[ArtieStroke]

"Lesbian- I'm a lesbian I am sexually attracted to girls and not boys JE PREFERE LES FEMMES PAS LES GARCONS!"

Rachel stood there breathing hard for a second before covering her mouth, "T-that kind of slipped out I'm sorry- just... really flustered right now I've been assaulted by girls in just their underwear all morning and I'm not prepared."

[Phoenix]

Nathan blinked, looking up at the ceiling. Had someone really just fallen from out of there? That... That wasn't normal. He moved forward, looking past Kade and at this new person, tilting his head to the side.

"Are you okay?" he asked, concern seeping into his voice since even he had to admit that the prospect of falling from the ceiling and onto the floor seemed like a painful one. Why wasn't Kade helping him up? The other could be seriously injured! Though, Nathan paused for a moment as he saw the other's hair seem to get larger.

'That's weird. Hair powers, maybe? Not very hygenic,' the voice mused, before falling silent yet again.

[Waistcoat]

Jacquine was taken back from Madam Acrylics sudden outburst. Maybe this Lesbienne fever was a topic that was very sensitive to her.

Jacquine nodded and leaned her head forward to Madam Acrylics so that their foreheads were touching.

'I do not understand but please get better soon' she whispered.

With that she turned around and walked away getting dressed.

[Joule]

"If monsieur Kade's too tall, then what am I?" Joule grinned and stepped up towards him, resting an arm on Kade's shoulder.

"Now, I know people are keen on exploring the house, but you chose a rather dubious route, don't you think?" with a grin, Nat offered the man a hand to lift him up. "You cool?"

[ArtieStroke]

... She still didn't understand. Was this girl completely sheltered from ANY sort of sex ed for her entire life?

That's... insane. What the slugger was up with that?

Rachel sat down on the edge of Jacquine's bed with a "whump", absolutely befuddled how a person could have absolutely no idea that sexual or romantic attraction existed.

She had a responsibility to teach this girl some very basic social constructs.

"It's... it's not an illness, it's my sexuality- didn't you ever take a sex ed class in school?"

[Urban]

"Eh. I'll live," Nathan said, yawning and glancing over at the new guy. One of Kade's friends, maybe? He seemed nice enough either way. "Thanks though," he continued, trying to subtly pat down his hair. Why do bad things happen to good people? What sort of terrible powers do this to someone? This slugging hair I swear-

Just as he was starting to get into it Nathan's second internal rant of the morning was shot down by the sound of another voice. Raising his eyebrows he considered the third member of Kade's ridiculous trio.

"You're way too tall," he replied, drily, "and believe you me - if I'd had a choice in the matter I certainly wouldn't have been up there." Maybe he should have explained more but Nathan was tired, and trying to rationalise sleep walking into the ventilation system wasn't exactly something he wanted to do when perfectly coherent, let alone when he was running solely on adrenaline from the fall.

Nathan rubbed a hand over his eyes, blinking wearily and reaching for Kade's weirdly tall friend's hand. "Thanks, man. I'm okay."

Now it was just a matter of finding either enough caffeine to wake himself up or somewhere slightly less bizarre to sleep, before he crashed again. "I'm Nathan, by the way. Urban is preferable."

[Waistcoat]

Jacquine felt refreshed when she donned her new clothes. Hearing Madam Acrylics question she had to give it some thought.

'Hmm, I remember cooking classes but they never taught me much about dessert. I learn't much recipes with my mother' Jacquine answered with a hint of nostalgia in her voice.

[ArtieStroke]

Rachel frowned, standing up, "Jacquine- I said nothing about either 'cooking' or 'dessert'- this is biology, not culinary arts. I mean come on you can't tell me you've never even seen a Romance movie and not known what 'love' or 'sex' is that's pretty much impossible in this day and age."

Absolutely preposterous. Nobody's that sheltered, it's the 22nd century for crying out loud. Sexual education has taken extraordinary leaps and bounds from the 'OooooOOOooooh sex is eeeeeviiiiiiil!' views of the 21st century.

[Waistcoat]

'Madam Acrylic' Jacquine said, sounding as stern as she could ,which wasn't very stern. 'I am knowledgeable on the differences of "sex" and "love"'

'Sex is a term for dessert, I heard my papa say it once when I was a little girl. And as for "Love" I have watched a romance movie once but I could not see all of it because...because..' Jacquine's face had turned red and was starting to go bashful

'Because they were holding hands! It was so scandalous! I could not bear to witness more!' Jacquine started "squeeing" at the thought of it.

She jumped onto the bed to hide her face as she let out her excitement.

[ArtieStroke]

Rachel blinked once, a little slackjawed from the reveal.

"... Hoo boy. You've got a lot to learn."

Rachel took a seat on the bed beside Jacquine, "Listen hon- sex isn't dessert. I mean, you could COMPARE it to dessert because they're both enjoyable and sweet- if you like either one, that is. I mean, some people are asexual and that's fine too, but I'm getting off topic. Sex is... what two people who fancy each other very much do in the bedroom... um... for fun. Or sometimes if they want to have a kid."

Please let's hope she at least knows how reproduction works, Rachel thought.

[Waistcoat]

Jacquine looked up at from her bed, a confused look was clear on her face.

'People have sex for children? Then what is the Stork for?' She asked.

[ArtieStroke]

Rachel could not believe what she just heard.

The stork. Jacquine actually still believed the whole 'babies are carried to their parents by a giant bird' story.

It took every ounce of self control Rachel had to keep from bursting out laughing. She covered her mouth, took in a deep breath, and released it, calming down, "Jacquine- storks don't carry babies to their parents. That's a story parents tell their kids whenever they ask how babies are made, because adults don't think children can handle the truth of 'Daddy sticks his penis inside mommy's vagina for sex and sometimes that gets mommy pregnant with a kid'- which, honestly, I think is pretty stupid. Kids are a LOT better at understanding things than people give them credit for."

Rachel nodded sagely at her explanation, "So yeah- the stork story is totally made up for children. Like Santa Claus, or the Easter Bunny or the Tooth Fairy."

[Waistcoat]

Jacquine looked up to her as if she was just slapped in the face. Slowly she got on to her knees as the truth fully started to set in.

'Th...they are not real?' She said, tears were starting to well up in her eyes. 'Mama was lying to me? Why would she do that?'

She couldn't hold it back anymore.

Jacquine had begun to cry.

[ArtieStroke]

Wait what

Rachel stared wide eyed in horror. She still.. Jacquine still believed in SANTA CLAUS and all those others as well???

What kind of sheltered life did this girl lead? Rachel really was starting to worry now

"Oh no- oh god, Jacquine no- I'm sorry!" She said, and scooted closer to her to hug her, "Shhh.. there there... just cry it out... I didn't know I'm so sorry..." she continued, patting her on the back as she held her. It was at this moment Rachel knew she had to be the mother this girl needed. Someone to teach her the real facts of life.

"Sometimes adults tell lies because they think they're small and won't matter later on... but truth is it's just a stupid thing they do when they don't think we can handle the truth."

[Zenith]

Kade sniggered, looking over Nathan's static-messed hair. He looked like someone had just plugged him into a power outlet. He sniggered even more as he watched him try to flatten it down.

Waiting for Joule to help him up, Kade decided to take pity on the poor, tiny, cute guy, extending a hand and pulling all of the static out of his hair, and into his hand instead. It sure was useful to be able to do that, sometimes. He shook his hand out, winking at Nathan. "Don't say I never did anything for you, cutie."

Then he realised that that both he and new guy had the same name. "Hah, hey, Nathan, this is also Nathan," he indicated each one of them with a jab of his thumb. "Aaaand we've got a Nathaniel. Three Ns. N cubed."

[Waistcoat]

Jacquine was still sobbing into Madam Acrylic.

'B...but Mama loves me!' she cried 'Why would she not trust me'

'To trust is to love, that's what she always said to me!' she continued to bawl.

Jacquine removed herself from Madam Acrylics hug, holding her head. It was beginning to hurt.

'I...have a...headache.' she managed to say quietly between sobs.

[ArtieStroke]

Rachel frowned, but continued to be supportive and give her reassuring pats on the back, "Jacquine... people have flaws. No one is perfect- and sometimes, well, a LOT of the time, we can be very stupid or hypocritical. She lied, yes, but that doesn't mean that she didn't love you. She just thought she was doing what was best to raise you. Maybe a little overprotective, but her heart was probably in the right place."

Rachel sighed, "Honestly I'd rather have a parent like that than the man my dad turned out to be... but the past is the past. Can't dwell on it or change it- just gotta move forward. And you can't do that without discovering some ugly truths now and again."

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